Why do poor people on sitcoms....

Always have brand new clothes and furniture?

Clear Channel Song of the Week:

Dramarama's "Anything, Anything (I'll Give You)"

People Paula's Contribution to the Modern Lexicon:

BORNY (bohr-nee) adj.: bored + horny

As in: "Why did you sleep with that guy?"

"I don't know, guess I was just borny."

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who say, "To make a long story short..."



And then tell the whole long-ass story anyway.

So you marry Ryan Adams & all of a sudden you're cool?

OK, Mandy Moore.

Is twitter the death of the blog?

Or just a repetitive stabbing to mine?

When you really think about it....

Hershey's Syrup doesn't even taste like chocolate.

The internet has really killed our ability to say....

"Whatever happened to...."

Isn't all of The Soup....

"Reality show clip time" now?

First Batman, now John Connor....

As another film icon is strapped with the worst speech impediment in show business.

Hey, Dance Flick....

You do know that Save the Last Dance came out more than 8 years ago, right?

Manny Ramirez:

Would've pegged him as more of a ganja type.

The refrain of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"....

Is nothing but the "Come on, Barbie. Let's go party," line in Aqua's Barbie Girl.

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who put their baby's photo as their profile picture on Facebook.

David Cook's Cancer Brother Dies:

Shit, the one season I don't watch....

I can't decide if Real Housewives of NYC's Jill Zarin....

Looks more like Debbie Gibson or Empty Nest's Dinah Manoff.

Is it just me....

Or have Liz Lemon's glasses been a little crooked in the past few episodes?

Best & Worst TV Casting of the Week:

Best: "Southland" (Ben McKenzie, Tom Everett Scott, Shawn Hatosy, Regina King)

Worst: "Grey Gardens" (Drew Barrymore & Jessica Lange)

Hey Real World....

Who the hell is this guy?

Dreamworks' Monsters vs. Aliens....

Seems an awful lot like Disney's Monsters Inc.

Why is B.J. Novak still in the opening credits of The Office....

When he's barely on the show?

I saw more naked, tiny boobs in Last House On the Left....

Than I did in 7th grade gym class.

Bigger sign that the internet is in the wrong hands:

The View on Twitter or your mom on Facebook?

The triumphant return of Tony Goldwyn & Monica Potter!

PGD: Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis

My initials finally stand for something, and it's the first step in in vitro eugenics? Awesome.

Is it wrong that I find the twins from Big Daddy....

Kinda hot?

You would've expected this sooner:

Watchmen recipe:

1 pint X-Men visuals

1 quart Sin City violence
2 cups Forrest Gump soundtrack
1 tsp Cameron Diaz impersonator

Hey 13-year-old girls who vote for American Idol....

Who do you like more: The cute, non-threatening guy who can't sing or the ugly, blind guy who also can't sing?

Is it weird that an intact mammoth skeleton was found...

On the same block as the La Brea Tar Pits?

The 5 songs played most often on Maryland radio:

Bryan Adams - Summer of '69
Don Henley - Boys of Summer
John Cougar - Jack and Diane
John Mellencamp - Small Town
John Cougar Mellencamp - Cherry Bomb

(Which are all pretty much the same song.)

I'll never eat an M&M....

Or look at Michael Strahan the same way again.

Worst guarantee ever:

If our crappy product doesn't work, we'll give you...
More of our crappy product!

The new Neutrogena Wave Vibrating Power Cleanser....

Because rubbing is so hard.

Am I the only one who could hear....

Bruce Springsteen's bones cracking during the Superbowl?

That MacGyver bit on SNL would've been funnier....

If Richard Dean Anderson had been halfway recognizable.

People Paula Crush of the Week: T. J. Holmes

Nice lips, voice like butter, big hands.... You know what I'm talking about, ladies. (And other CNN viewers who have a hard time getting it up for Wolf Blitzer anymore.)

Dear Siobhan Fallon,

Sometimes it's best for a character actor not to act like such a character.

They still have them on airplanes, but seriously....

Who the hell uses barf bags anymore??

What the 2009 SAG Awards proved:

Meryl Streep really is the greatest actress of our generation, since she pulled off looking that excited about a shitty SAG award.

Katie Holmes and her boobs are confused about what SAG stands for.

James Earl Jones is getting whiter with age.

Rapper Analogies: 50 Cent is to Sundance 2009....

As P. Diddy was to Cannes 2008.

Why "He's Just Not That Into You" is going to be lame:

1. It's directed by the guy who made The Beautician and the Beast and License to Wed.
2. It thinks MySpace is the new anything.
3. Scarlett Johansson is in it.

Dear Criminals,

Now is the perfect time to rob a gas station in D.C.

Malcolm Gladwell, Jon Glaser & Charlie Kaufman:

Do all overrated writers look the same?

Am I the only one...

Who finds these "Whopper Virgin" commercials a little anthropologically disturbing?

Make the most of New Year's Eve...

And your last chance to wear these glasses!

I can't tell if it's the Nazi uniform or the eye patch...

But Tom Cruise looks hotter in Valkyrie than he ever has.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep?

People Paula Fashion Trend Prediction for 2009:

Mustaches.

Is it just me....

Or does Steven Soderbergh's film Che look a lot like Billy Walsh's Medellin?