I always think John Hodgman is the Mac....

Because he's so much cooler.

Hey Brad & Angelina, what did you do for Halloween?

Oh, we dressed our Cambodian son up like a dead soldier. You know... Khmer Rouge zombie chic for kids.

Why have the Free Credit Report guy & all the Saturday Night Live performers....

Gotten so lazy with the lip synching?

I'm beginning to think...

Jim Carrey hates children.

Cheddar, bold party, hot & spicy, peanut lovers, caramel crunch, honey nut, trail mix, turtle, peanut butter, dark chocolate and strawberry....

But no Chex-only Chex Mix???

It's kind of gross...

How Corn Pops, Fig Newtons and Red Vines go stale the moment air touches them.

Based on nothing per se....

These are the hot actors I assume are totally gay.

Kanye may be a crazy drunk....

But he's still right.

You know you're out of shape when....

You realize the only exercise your abs get is when you're coughing from all those cigarettes you smoke.

You Are Ells: Cool blogs that've linked to People Paula

- Defamer
- Too Much Awesome
- Goldenfiddlr
- Malis in Wonderland
- Vanmega
- Urban Socialite

Gerard Butler must have....

The worst agent in Hollywood.

You Are Ells:

- Wow. Mick Jagger looks really bad in these photos.
- These guys are unbelievable at finding celeb lookalikes.
- They didn't call him Tricky Dick for nothing.
- The house of the future in one word: Plastics.
- I mean, you have to be a real dum dum not to solve this.
- The best celebrity roast in history: Frank Sinatra.

Coming to your television this fall....

The pop culture trends of 2007.

You Are Ells:

- Apocalypse now: Time lapse of the LA fire.
- AirBnB: How to get murdered in your own apartment.
- These two reallllly love being Jewish.
- They're cute & sleepy. As seen on Wolf Blitzer, for some reason.
- Looking for an amazing game to waste your time? Here you go.
- Where I spend half my time, because I love laughing.

You Are Ells:

- One of the best songs I've heard out of LA.
- A guy drops acid and his friend records the audio: Amazing.
- I haven't seen this movie, but you should.
- Yet another reason George W. Bush is a total asshole.
- An awesome movie title: The Majestic Plural.
- If you don't believe in horoscopes, I dare you to read Cainer.

If Thomas Jane and Anne Heche actually had children....

Do you think they'd look anything like their kids on Hung?

You Are Ells:

- McDonald's just got crazy racist.
- Two of the greatest B&W photographers in history.
- Best insubordination ever.
- Never forget the great animator Jan Svankmajer.
- If you dig Flight of the Conchords, see this documentary.
- If Lincoln believed in ghosts, I can too.
- George W. Bush has a lot in common with my dad.

You Are Ells:

- Ever seen a cartoon's skeleton? You have now.
- My haunted (esp. room 624) home away from home.
- Hey asshole, they didn't just make chairs.
- I mean, it's not ALL about Satan.
- Best. Autism. Ever.
- Remake His Girl Friday, just because you can.

You Are Ells:

- Beck as Lou Reed; Thorunn Magnusdottir as Nico.
- Hilarious, except that baby powder is highly flammable.
- It's not TV; It's Jason Schwartzman.
- Who loves Little Richard? Little Richard.
- State game: 117 pts. on expert my first try. Again, stoned.

You Are Ells:

- I want this font on my tombstone.
- How Oliver Hudson lost $10,000 in 2 minutes.
- I'm trying to memorize these for a party trick.
- British kids must have great taste in movies.
- "Can we turn around? I forgot something."
- How Tetris almost drove me insane as a child.

You Are Ells:

- No wonder Woody smokes so much pot.
- I'd love to think like Mitch Hedberg, but I'm just not into heroin.
- Artificial Intelligence: Scarier than the Saw movies.
- What's so wrong with Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs?
- Bookie, gimme 2 large on "The universe will stop expanding."
- I wonder what this adorable little girl looks like now.

Dear Huffington Post:

Could you please put more shit all over your site? Thanks.

You Are Ells:

- Those Czechs know how to make a movie poster.
- Commercials: Not all bad.
- The Langley Schools Music Awesomeness.
- I love this book, but apparently it never sunk in.
- I solved Einstein's puzzle in 12 minutes. Stoned.
- If I talked like this, I'd be bigger than Sarah Silverman.

You Are Ells:

- This guy is the source of my nightmares.
- This is my baby name. Don't steal it, jerk.
- I hate that anthropomorphic animal stuff, but this is funny.
- No Whammies, no Whammies!
- "You park like an asshole..." I wish I'd thought of these.
- Hey, who's the fat guy in all these Hitchcock movies?

You Are Ells:

- If he can't bring home the bacon, the least he can do is dance for days.
- I have to admit, I only pretend to understand the Monty Hall problem.
- Tarantino totally NARCed out Brad Pitt.
- I definitely own the duck.
- How has Tim Burton not made this movie?
- Yet another reason Neil Patrick Harris is my hero.

Fine, I'll admit it:

Jimmy Fallon is actually getting better.

Holy God.

While my brain is on near-permanent vacation, please check out my twitter over there.

----------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Why do poor people on sitcoms....

Always have brand new clothes and furniture?

Clear Channel Song of the Week:

Dramarama's "Anything, Anything (I'll Give You)"

People Paula's Contribution to the Modern Lexicon:

BORNY (bohr-nee) adj.: bored + horny

As in: "Why did you sleep with that guy?"

"I don't know, guess I was just borny."

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who say, "To make a long story short..."



And then tell the whole long-ass story anyway.

So you marry Ryan Adams & all of a sudden you're cool?

OK, Mandy Moore.

Is twitter the death of the blog?

Or just a repetitive stabbing to mine?

When you really think about it....

Hershey's Syrup doesn't even taste like chocolate.

The internet has really killed our ability to say....

"Whatever happened to...."

Isn't all of The Soup....

"Reality show clip time" now?

First Batman, now John Connor....

As another film icon is strapped with the worst speech impediment in show business.

Hey, Dance Flick....

You do know that Save the Last Dance came out more than 8 years ago, right?

Manny Ramirez:

Would've pegged him as more of a ganja type.

The refrain of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"....

Is nothing but the "Come on, Barbie. Let's go party," line in Aqua's Barbie Girl.

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who put their baby's photo as their profile picture on Facebook.

David Cook's Cancer Brother Dies:

Shit, the one season I don't watch....

I can't decide if Real Housewives of NYC's Jill Zarin....

Looks more like Debbie Gibson or Empty Nest's Dinah Manoff.

Is it just me....

Or have Liz Lemon's glasses been a little crooked in the past few episodes?

Best & Worst TV Casting of the Week:

Best: "Southland" (Ben McKenzie, Tom Everett Scott, Shawn Hatosy, Regina King)

Worst: "Grey Gardens" (Drew Barrymore & Jessica Lange)

Hey Real World....

Who the hell is this guy?

Dreamworks' Monsters vs. Aliens....

Seems an awful lot like Disney's Monsters Inc.

Why is B.J. Novak still in the opening credits of The Office....

When he's barely on the show?

I saw more naked, tiny boobs in Last House On the Left....

Than I did in 7th grade gym class.

Bigger sign that the internet is in the wrong hands:

The View on Twitter or your mom on Facebook?